I am A Very Stupid Person

a very gloomy sunday...

its winter...

its snowing...

its very cold...

n yet hv nobody to hold...

did a very stupid thing today...

in a few minutes i posted something in my fb...

caused someone to feel pain...

im sooo stupid....

how can i be sooo insensitive...

but yet...

if im not sensitive...

why i have this feeling...

feel soo sad...

feel like crying...

but i guess nobody understand me...

only Allah n myself understand whats going thru in my life...

its hard...

its difficult...

its complicated...

its bcos u r not here...

i need u...

i need u now, tommorow n future...

but i guess i cant hv it for now...

yeah....

its unfair...

at this age of mine...

ive to sacrifice a lot of things....

only for the sake of my ambition...

heart...

why i feel soo much pain tonight...

no mood for studying...

eventhough tommorow that Smenyak Olga want to ask question about histo...

but i cant focus...

i feel like my heart is torn apart...

its like my heart just want to scream out loud...

but it cant...

that action really showed how stupid am i...

but yet...

u always said that u understand me...

in fact, u actually not...

u dont understand what i feel...

in this foreign country...

so far apart from all the people i love...

to do all things by myself...

n worst of all...

cant find somebody who i can share my secret with...

everything have to keep it to myself...

am not sure until when it can hold...

to you...

im sorry...

im a very terrible person...

but yet...

maybe i also miss u veryy much...

but im tired did the same thing everyday...

if u know what i mean...

but u dont hv to worry...

eventhough ur not in my sight...

ull always in my heart...

im very sorry for that stupid things that ive made...

without thinking the feeling of yours...

good night~

p/s: i wont be on9 for a while...